Though spanking is often associated with BDSM, it can also serve as a form of therapy. Many women have no interest in BDSM, but are looking for structure, discipline, or emotional release in their lives. It can play an important role in happiness and healing and through the active listening and support that I give with the spanking I am able to help women achieve these. It is done in a caring, safe, and nonsexual manner, and I have extensive experience in the use of spanking for stress reduction, relaxation and the release of blocked emotions as well as for changing negative patterns. My specialty is introducing those who are new to the idea and helping them experience spanking within a healthy and balanced energetic context. I also work with couples who wish to use spanking to help them learn how to use it safely and effectively as part of a loving relationship.
My clients are primarily women who seek my services for many reasons. Some may dream of experiencing a sense of intimacy that is missing from their regular relationships in a safe, loving, sensitive and non-sexual environment where they can relax and enjoy the experience. Others come because they have issues or challenges in their lives that they wish to work through using spanking as a method of healing. Many find that being spanked offers them the opportunity to release difficult emotions for which spanking becomes a form of therapy and healing. Finally, some just want to experience the care and attention for which I am known after a sound over the knee (OTK) spanking.
Through spanking I offer something that is too often missing in their lives…touch. This is necessary for so many of us to feel cared for and to experience, and it happens during the sessions in many ways. I offer a hand to hold when you need to know someone is there, a warm lap to be held in during the spanking, massage and reassuring touch during and after a spanking, and a loving hug when it is needed. Being able to experience a caring touch in a non-sexual manner is so helpful and healing.
Spanking as Therapy
People are often drawn to spanking because there is something within themselves that they are trying to heal and spanking is the therapeutic modality that most directly helps them to access difficult or blocked emotions.
My philosophy is geared toward helping people view themselves and their needs positively and the use of spanking as a vehicle for healing, personal growth and self-discovery. The spanking is given with love, care and respect in an effort to bring women closer to wholeness and healing. I do not use spanking as a form of punishment, abuse, control or domination, nor do I reinforce negative self-images by helping clients act out the kind of old mental scripts that may cause them to mistakenly believe that they are somehow unworthy as people and deserving of punishment. I believe that positive changes in your life can only come through self-love and not self-degradation.
Research has shown the therapeutic value of spanking. Many who seek spanking are individuals who are in positions of power, and with that power comes great responsibility. Spanking and giving up control allow the escape from the decision-making that is so much part of their lives and has been found to be psychologically beneficial (Lindemann, 2011, Wismeijer & van Assen, 2013, McGreal, 2013). Studies of the personality traits neuroticism, extraversion, openness to experience, conscientiousness, agreeableness, rejection sensitivity, relationship attachment styles and happiness show that practitioners of spanking were psychologically healthier than non-practitioners. (McGreal, 2013)
All that aside it feels very good and I've never heard of anyone that didnt enjoy being spanked. Whether to see if its a good way to relieve emotions or stress or it can be quite exhilarating
The Spanking Session
All spanking therapy sessions are conducted in a non-sexual atmosphere, which means that I remain fully clothed at all times. The sessions occur in four stages: introductory meeting, pre-care, spanking and aftercare.
Introductory meeting: As discussed in the safety section of this site, we will meet in a public place prior to scheduling your appointment. Please see safety section for details.
Pre-care: Though you will have already met me, when you arrive for your session, you will probably experience a range of emotions. You may be apprehensive or fearful of the unknown. We will talk about your fears, any health concerns you may have and I will discuss safe words with you to reassure you that feel confident that you are in charge. I will answer questions that you may have to help you overcome your fears and develop trust. Pre-care is about collaboration and communication between us to assure a successful session. Finally, I will give you a calming, caring hug and then gently position you for the spanking with your bottom bared.
Aftercare: Aftercare brings you from the elevated states of emotion and transitions you back to everyday life. It helps to avoid the feeling of crashing during which feelings of anxiety, exposure, embarrassment, guilt or emotional overload that may occur. It can involve gently caresses and hugs or talking through what occurred during the spanking phase. It is not rushed and be assured that I will take care of and comfort you during this transition phase.
Spanking Based on your experience and the knowledge I gain from you during our pre-care discussion, I will select appropriate implements for use during your spanking. For novices, I always begin with my hand and through my experience judge whether the addition of other implements is appropriate. Implements may include hand, hairbrush, paddle or other based on your reaction and needs. The intensity of the spankings can range from moderate to very intense. They begin with a warm-up and build in intensity over time. When appropriate I can provide you with an intense spanking that will help release the guilt, shame or regret you may be holding around difficulties you are experiencing in your life. A good sound spanking will release the bodies endorphins which will provide you with a natural high. For those pent up emotions some women feel better after having a good cry
Spanking occurs through a series of gradually intensifying steps: Warm up, spank, warm up more, spank more severely, firmly pull hair, or firmly hold the back of your neck. Your fantasies are discussed as to sensual, strict, firm, and discipline type of spanking required. I can assure you once you have had a strong spanking like that you won’t want any more wimpy spankings, and will now crave a well done God-damn-teeth-clenching-foot-flailing-gasping- out-of-control spanking (please note that novices start off soft and sensual to build up a trust and that I’m excellent at reading body language and know when to stop. However you are always given a safe word but for the most part its really best to let go.
A pre-meeting takes place in a public place as discussed in the safety section of the site. The therapy session takes place at my place of residence in a non-threatening environment to avoid feelings of intimidation. It does not take place in the dungeon.
To discuss a session and/or make an appointment for a pre-meeting, please contact me via the email address below.
Lindemann, D. (2011). BDSM as Therapy. Sexualities. DOI: 10.1177/1363460711399038.
McGreal, S. (2013). BDSM Personality and Mental Health. Psychology Today. Retrieved from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/unique-everybody-else/201307/bdsm-personality-and-mental-health
Wismeijer, A & van Assen, M. (2013). Psychological Characteristics of BDSM Practitioners. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, doi: 10.1111/jsm.12192