I had the honour of having “Angel” as My friend and submissive for 5 years, before she lost her battle with cancer. She will always have a place in my heart.

In the mid 90's I had her post this on one of the local bdsm discussion groups.

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My master asked me to write a description of how I feel as a submissive during a scene. These few pages can't explain all that goes on inside me but I hope it helps. If you have further questions I am sure my master will have me reply. What do I feel as a submissive? WONDERFUL! Since my master knows me well he can control my body and illicit from it responses I never dreamed of. He can keep me at the pinnacle of arousal until I beg for release and even then will continue. He will spiral me beyond pleasure to pain to flying until pain and pleasure are one, indistinguishable and intense. All I know is that I want it!

Before a scene I become aroused with anticipation because I know I will be tormented and pushed to the limit of my pleasure/pain. I do not feel fear because I only play with people I trust and always discuss limits and safe words. Fear does not turn me on but suspense and adventure do. I love the feeling of belonging to my master completely, being his toy to do with what he pleases. As I prepare to come to him I feel happy and excited because I am obeying his prior instructions of what to bring and wear.

When I arrive my master prepares me by shaving my pussy and pampering me. I feel special and cared for. I hope I please him. This is also a playful time inside as I soak up all the attention he gives me. Subs love attention! I feel like a puppy being petted by her master. My tail just wants to keep wagging and I want to roll over and be totally submissive and obedient. It gives me great pleasure knowing he is preparing me as he wants. If he wants a dildo up my ass or a vibrator on my clit or to bind me immobile I love it because by being his play thing I am pleasing him. It makes me happy.

Then comes the nervous waiting. The anticipation can be a real turn-on. I have no idea what is to come. Often I am blindfolded and led to the play area. Play area is a good term because playful is most often how I feel, excited and playful like a kid. From this moment on I am released from the responsibility of decision making. My only job is to respond to his touch and command. I love offering myself to him, body and soul, for his pleasure. When I do this I feel love for my Master. The more he pushes my limits and I submit to the pain/pleasure or playful humiliation the more I feel love for him. I like to know I am completely his.

My master is very good at warming me up slowly. He does not suddenly beginning beating me. He makes me want it, yearn for it, even beg for it. As he begins to whip me or stroke me with a feather my mind goes blank and all I feel are the sensations. The whole world ceases to exist except the intense feelings in my body. After a while each stroke of the whip is like a electric shock to my clit. As the discipline intensifies it is like my will has disintegrated and I am only an extension of my master's desires. My focus is concentrated on my sex. Being fucked with a dildo or whipped, stimulated with a vibrator or pinched by nipple clamps - all sensations fade into one. My master is truly a master at being able to stimulate me. He is so good to me.

In discipline sessions I crave harder and harder strokes until I feel his soft touch and it makes it all worthwhile. I want to take the pain for him and at the same time feel myself getting wetter and wetter. Even against my will he can turn me into a sopping whore who will beg to be fucked, whipped and sucked like a bitch in heat. I build to orgasm as if it is the only thing possible and it is! If my master wants me to come I will come, once, twice, ten or fifty times, it is his choice. My pussy seems disembodied. It no longer belongs to me but to my master. My body is no longer controlled by my will. My master can make me come or keep me right on the edge for hours, tormented and without release. Either way I am happy but my pleasure is intensified knowing I have no choice. He dominates and controls my body and my pleasure.

When my master points out that my cunt is a real lake and that I am a real cumslut my embarrassment shows in my dripping pussy. When he puppy trains me with a tail in my ass, teaches me to pee in front of him, or gives me an enema I feel real humiliation but I happily try to obey and be trained because he is my master and it is my duty. It makes me feel so completely his when he breaks my will by humiliating me in these ways. My trust level goes up as I open myself to him, confident that he will take care of me.

Sometimes it is hard to have my limits pushed but I want to be an obedient slave for him. I want to please my master and show him how far I will go for him. When he stretches my pussy to take his whole hand the pain is overcome by the willingness to submit and is metamorphosed into pleasure. Whatever he wants becomes paramount. He knows better than I do what I need. I trust him to control my pleasure and never damage me. I have never once had to use the safe word.

I feel it is a privilege to be a slave. To be showered with attention and sensations by your master, to know that he is training you to be just what he wants you to be, is very satisfying - if you have the right master. Be careful who you chose! The relationship must be open and trusting. You need to talk, share fantasies and fears and then explore the heights of pleasure together. If you are like me, you will think you are getting all the fun while he does most of the work, but just enjoy and trust that he is getting off on it as much as you!

I would love to hear from other submissives and dominants. How do you feel being a slave or a master?